th human ; dilaa mat zain
10 March 2008
woke up.
sleep bck.
woke up again.
sleep again.
in the mid of it all,
he came.
damn.
pk-ran smpi trbwk-bwk sey.
we were classmates.
he`s going home.
so am i.
but i had to go first.
i had to.
then he came.
he didnt see me.
i didnt see him.
only heard him.
only heard him talking.
i walked off.
away from him.
as far away as i can go.
met up with my frens.
and i know i`ll be alrite by then.
then i wake up.
feeling the panic knowing im bck to reality.
had to go to the pool.
to drown myself.
i just had to.
didnt went to meet yan as id promised him.
better luck next time i guess.
im confusesd.
im nuts.
im crazy.
im gay.
im a depressed kid mentally.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the FUCKER fuck fuck.
im hopeless at this point of time.
i have to get organize.
ouh,
wth is wrong with me.
i need SABIRAH.
i need her comfort rite now.
the best advise giver ever.
ouh.
hell.
heaven.
i need my bunnies.
i need the hug.
i need kiki.
best listener ever.
I AM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION!
WOOHOO.
lallalalala.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drown u mother fucker.
kill urself if u have to.
slash ur wrist if u have to.
slit that throat.
cut open that stomach.
smash ur bloody head with that tool.
ouh,
mommy help me pls.
got to stop it frm falling down my face.
those shameless tears.
i have absolutely no idea wad im doing.
take a look at my face rite nw pple.
look,
look,
this is the ultimate SHIT.
i tried.
i did the best i cld.
but in this harsh reality world,
its never enuf.
u just got to try harder.
i really did try.
the effort was never enuf.
i tried.
i really did try.
i really,really did try.
i did.
didnt u see it?
wth am i crying for!
im mad at myself.
im angry at myself.
im pissed at myself.
im infact,very dissappointed at myself.
why didnt i try harder.
i need SABIRAH!
sleep bck.
woke up again.
sleep again.
in the mid of it all,
he came.
damn.
pk-ran smpi trbwk-bwk sey.
we were classmates.
he`s going home.
so am i.
but i had to go first.
i had to.
then he came.
he didnt see me.
i didnt see him.
only heard him.
only heard him talking.
i walked off.
away from him.
as far away as i can go.
met up with my frens.
and i know i`ll be alrite by then.
then i wake up.
feeling the panic knowing im bck to reality.
had to go to the pool.
to drown myself.
i just had to.
didnt went to meet yan as id promised him.
better luck next time i guess.
im confusesd.
im nuts.
im crazy.
im gay.
im a depressed kid mentally.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the hell.
wat the FUCKER fuck fuck.
im hopeless at this point of time.
i have to get organize.
ouh,
wth is wrong with me.
i need SABIRAH.
i need her comfort rite now.
the best advise giver ever.
ouh.
hell.
heaven.
i need my bunnies.
i need the hug.
i need kiki.
best listener ever.
I AM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION!
WOOHOO.
lallalalala.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drowning.
drown u mother fucker.
kill urself if u have to.
slash ur wrist if u have to.
slit that throat.
cut open that stomach.
smash ur bloody head with that tool.
ouh,
mommy help me pls.
got to stop it frm falling down my face.
those shameless tears.
i have absolutely no idea wad im doing.
take a look at my face rite nw pple.
look,
look,
this is the ultimate SHIT.
i tried.
i did the best i cld.
but in this harsh reality world,
its never enuf.
u just got to try harder.
i really did try.
the effort was never enuf.
i tried.
i really did try.
i really,really did try.
i did.
didnt u see it?
wth am i crying for!
im mad at myself.
im angry at myself.
im pissed at myself.
im infact,very dissappointed at myself.
why didnt i try harder.
i need SABIRAH!
i need sabib laa,
dila,dila,sey,
cb.
dila,dila,sey,
cb.
6:58:00 PM
konek-tion ; dead
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